Allowing Stress to Take Over
3 February 2010
Scripture memorization has always been one of those things I feel I should do, but I don’t. Kinda like exercise or daily flossing. Good things that get lost in the shuffle of daily life. (Though I do floss regularly. Not everyday, and certainly not twice a day like the sign at the dentist office said I should. Am I crazy, or has that number gone up? As a kid, I remember being told once a day.)
Back on subject.
So last night, around 11:30, I had a total emotional breakdown. Lots of crying. Some really loud nose blowing. Blubbering. I was a mix of pregnant, crazy tired, and crazy stressed about writing stuff, and that’s a bad combination. I kept saying to my poor, patient husband, “I just didn’t think it would be like this,” (I’m talking about writing stuff, and how I haven’t rocketed up the best seller lists) “I thought God would take care of this!”
Within about ten minutes, I’d released enough stressed to conk out.
Then I woke up at 4 this morning and my mind started whirling with “What if?” scenarios. So productive. So I was repeating to God pretty much everything I’d said a few hours before, when my mind was suddenly dominated by this thought: “Do not worry about tomorrow. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Which is a paraphrased version of Matthew 6:34, which says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
A couple months ago, my pastor spoke on these verses, and it really spoke to me. Any sermon on worry usually does, because it’s a real problem I have, and one I’d love to shake. And the only way to shake it is to grow in faith. Which takes time. (Grr.)
After that sermon, I dedicated myself to reading Matthew 6:25-34 every morning for a week. And apparently it stuck, because at 4am this morning when I needed those verses, there they were.
So I thought to myself, “What do I need to be doing right now?” The answer was easy—sleeping. So that’s what I did.
And while I still have a few niggling doubts about the twists and turns of my career, I have the comfort of verse 33 which says, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Referring to life’s essentials of food and clothing. It’s a reminder that God knows what I need. I’m seeking Him, so He’s got it under control.
Comments
Great post today, Stephanie… Thanks for the reminder.
Posted by Kelli on 3 February 2010
True words, Stephanie! Especially comforting because God knows what we need better than we do ourselves. So while we might have disappointments in not reaching OUR goals, true success comes when we meet HIS.
Posted by Roseanna White on 3 February 2010